2 Months & 15 Days....

2 months & 15 days...
What about it?
That was my last blog entry.

In this period of time, some many things have happened. For one i made a lot of really great friends here already. Then at the same time, my semester is coming to an end now, i have a lot of assignments to finish as well as prepare for my finals. I am very nervous, after all I am in another country, not my own.

But the main reason for me being nervous is because of the subject I'm taking, Environmental Science. Why? Because i really really enjoy what I am learning. I really want to do well. I still remember telling my family and friends, if I am allowed to do something i really like, i will be able to excel in it. When i came over, everyone told me that i will do well. I'm now in a culture and setting that is more open to my style of study and more importantly I'm doing a topic which i truly have passion for.

Frankly, looking at how I'm coping so far, I am doing rather well. But some how i feel it is not enough. Yes, I'm getting High Distinctions (someone wants to kill me know when she finds out I'm saying this) but somehow I myself am not satisfied with my own performance. When i read my assignments and essays, i feel they nothing more than a beautiful orchestra of words that have no substance in it. Yet, when i receive it back, i get a compliment from my tutor on on a good job which i don't really feel i deserved very much.

Anyway...

On other matters, in this period my parents had also paid me a visit. For once in my life, I think I was really really happy to see them. Although I admit I'm not especially close with my parents, but seeing them for that few days really did cheer me up a lot. I guess is the reality of not having them by my side was getting to me. Initially, I would get very annoyed because i was not at home. I would want something to use (scissors for example) and suddenly realize that I was not at home and did not have them.

I think this is what they mean by becoming independent and looking after yourself. Time to grow up~~ Haha... Eh, but i must admit though, it has been a really interesting experience. I actually learned how to do a lot of shopping on my own, how to look for better products and settle issues with the bank etc. I am also very very grateful to my parents. Why? From young they made me do a lot of the things around the house and I used to be so annoyed by it. Now I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so happy because of that. I can do every chore that there is. I can even cook better than a lot of people here. =D

Coming back to friends....
I miss my darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I miss my kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I miss my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok... Done screaming, now can talk adi.... I have been calling back some of my friends in Malaysia. Similarly, i have never been so happy to hear their voice and to be able to talk to them. My friends as well, damn funny la, i still remember one of them screaming "Jian Wei!!!!! So happy!!!!" and some others picking up the phone and being so polite going "Hello, may i know who is this?" which actually scared me. I never thought they could be so polite.

I miss the times that which come out and yum cha. I still have issues talking over IM and the phone la. I need to talk to people face to face to really be able to express myself. I also feel a more personal connection when talking like that. I can relate to them more. This has something to do with the body language. If i remember my number correctly, about 70 - 80% of communication is done subconsciously as body language. The rest of the communication is done by words. This is one reason i don't like to use SMS and chat to talk with people. Twice here in Australia i have upset a good friend due to misunderstanding in SMS and MSN. I'm really really sorry.... =(

Coming on to my friends in Australia, i meet some really great people. Not to mention we do a lot of silly things. Like playing computer over the college LAN network until 3am. We also have a lot of fun time debating over funny issues and talk random things. But two of them are on exchange and will be going back after this semester is over.... Feeling a bit sad thinking of it already. They have been great and wonderful friends all throughout these few months. Really hope i can visit them some day after they have gone back to their home countries.

But like my style back in Malaysia, if i don't want to talk, there is nothing anyone can do about it. This i think has caused me to have a lot less friends that i would have had. Oh well, people who know we probably expected that already. But I'm not in a rush to have a lot of friends. I like to take my time, and make really really high quality friends as i like to put it. =)

There is one last thing I'll touch on this post, however i can't really share much about it. But for the people that know about it, take it as an update on what is happening.

The last blog post was roughly the beginning of it. Over these 10 weeks, so many different things have happened. I have had ups, downs, depression bouts, joy bouts, periods of total exhaustion, and periods of extreme energy.

Soon I'll be taking a break though when i go back to Malaysia. I'm having mixed feelings at the moment, not really sure how i feel. But all I want to do now is to have faith, try my best and wait and see =)

Anyway, it is now 11.40am here. Soon those chibi (Japanese word i learned) will be calling me out for lunch so i think I'll finish this post here. Yes yes, i know, there are still 2 posts i owe you people. But this period i am really very very strained for time.

Actually la, the main reason I'm writing this post is to cheer myself up a bit. Was a bit depressed and frustrated over the past few days. Now that I'm almost done writing i feel A LOT better already.

Take care people.

Will meet those back in Malaysia real soon....

Lai Jian Wei
11.43am
18 October 2008