Today is August 26 2009, which is coincidentally the day of Chinese Valentine Day. So happy valentine's day for everyone who sees this =D
Also, today, it has been more than 5 months since my last post. I wonder if everyone has given up on my blog because i have been putting off writing it for so long.
Today i decided to come to this page because i remembered something i said a long time ago. It had something to do with smiling.
I remembered how many times in my life i had stopped smiling. Or at least the major events that made me not feel like smiling. Even in one of the prior posts i implied that i would be able to smile regardless of what was happening at that time and yet i failed.
Today, i am smiling again. Of cause i have also been smiling a lot the past few months but in this case, it is one of those special situations again.
In the blink of an eye, more than half of my friends are in relationships already. If not, they are down the path towards one. My point? I'm happy for them. This in turn brings me to quote something a friend said a couple of weeks back - "and then there was one". When he said that, he seemed a million miles away from his own story, today, he seems just within arms reach of it. It is now just left to how he decides and fate thus leaving that quote in my hands now.
Coming back to the smiling thing, i think i have developed a really bad habit. In the past, people always complained i never smiled enough. I took that advice and decided to smile. Guess what happened? Yep, i can't stop smiling anymore - not when i'm depressed, not when i'm sad, not when i'm lonely and perhaps, even not when i'm crying (i'm not sure about it actually, coz i haven't cried yet)
Along with that habit came another - "don't worry" or as i like to say it in japanese "dai jo bu" or in chinese, "放心啦". I'm saying this so much, there have been a few that are complaining i'm starting to hide my true feelings and thoughts. Maybe they are right, afterall, lately i feel like i don't want to bother or trouble anyone anymore. Everyone has their own troubles, and i don't feel like adding more for them.
I have a feeling with the paragraph above, people are going to want to kill me again... Better start running~~ haha~~
Anyways, till next time and don't worry about me.
Lai Jian Wei
3.44pm
26 August 2009
About Me
- Jian Wei
- I stand my ground for who I am not what the world wants me to be. I dream for a better place where there isn't a need for heaven. I believe in the miracles of life, eternity of relationships and power of dreams. I share my heart with all but will not expect any to share with me. I will not give my life to save another because i will need it to save more. Life is about living and not pursuing nor pretending. Everyone is a friend and there's a place for everyone in my heart. I rather be alone than be with people who are insincere. My doors are always open to those who need to come in. Live life standing strong, sitting fast, striding swift, talking true, treating sincere, believing hard, fighting passionately, dreaming endlessly and loving boundlessly. ************ I am an explorer. My heart my compass. My arms my sword and my shield. My soul my fire. My mind my toolkit. My legs my steed. My eyes my teacher. My ears my adviser. My touch my guide. My emotions my companion. My conscious my direction.
3 comments:
lolz...after reading what u wrote ..i feel like u bcome another me ady !!!! just like what my fren told me...always wear a smiling mask...~~
hey ..buddy ...it is realy not a good habit lo~~
try ur best bcome what u r ..dun change bcoz fo others ~~!!!
not sure when u will see these words, but i'm glad that at least i could be one of the few people who saw ur face under that mask, and i really appreciate that.for real friends, showing ur true feeling will never add their troubles.i don't know how long we will be together in the future,but
right now, at this moment, i want u to know that i'm loving you,always ready to listen to you,as ur girlfriend, and as ur best friend.=)
it's strange that sometimes i felt like writing sth here as if it was my own blog.;p but actually there are just sth i'm not sure if i should tell u right now, but hope that u will see some day.last night we had a talk,if you remember.i can't deny that it was and is hurting me.i realized that it's one thing when the thoughts were haunting me,but it's another thing when i heard you admitted by urself.the previous makes me upset and distressed, but the latter makes me hurt.but i really appreciate ur effort and i still love you so much.that's why i would be understanding and try harder to keep our relationship.=)
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